Category: Pastries & Sweets

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Raspberry Thumbprints

These cookies are scrumptious with a strong cup of coffee, a pot of tea, or a big glass of milk. They also have the benefit of having very few ingredients which make them a great “go to” cookie when your cupboard is a wee bit sparse. You can omit the nuts if they put you into anaphylactic shock, but they’re so good with the nuts you might just want to keep the EpiPen handy instead.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup Butter or Margarine
  • 1/4 cup Brown Sugar
  • 1 Large Egg
  • 1/2 tsp. Vanilla Extract
  • 1 cup All Purpose Flour
  • 1/4 tsp. Salt
  • 1/3 cup Very Finely Chopped Walnuts
  • 1/2 cup Raspberry Jam

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees.
  2. Line a baking sheet with foil.
  3. Separate egg, reserving whites.
  4. Blend together egg yolk, butter or margarine, brown sugar, and vanilla.
  5. Add flour and salt, and mix well.
  6. Shape the dough into balls about 1-1/2 wide. (Makes about 12 balls.)
  7. Roll balls in egg white and then in chopped walnuts, until well coated with nuts.
  8. Arrange balls on prepared baking sheet.
  9. Bake for 5 minutes and remove from oven.
  10. Put a deep dent into the center of each cookie with your thumb. (Don’t be a scaredy cat; they’re not too hot yet.)
  11. Spoon or pipe raspberry jam into the dent in each cookie.
  12. Return baking sheet to oven, and bake for 11-12 minutes more.
  13. Remove cookies from baking sheet immediately and transfer to wire rack to cool.
  14. Brew some strong coffee and enjoy!

Are you really allergic to nuts or just don’t like them? Try sprinkles, quick cooking oats, or shredded coconut instead…  although, coconut is disgusting, so please don’t tell me that you’ve corrupted my recipe with it. And of course, you can also try other flavors of jam or preserves. 

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Chocolate Baklava

If you’re searching for something to go with your coffee that’s so sweet it’ll give you tooth decay just smelling it, look no further. I’ve turned the traditional recipe up to eleven with the addition of chocolate. Sweet as sin, and twice the calories! Απολαμβάνω!

Ingredients

  • 1  16 oz. Package Phyllo Dough
  • 1 lb. Finely Chopped Walnuts or Pecans
  • 1/2 cup Mini Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
  • 3/4 cup Unsalted Butter
  • 1 tsp. Ground Cinnamon
  • 1 cup Water
  • 3/4 cup White Sugar
  • 1 tsp. Vanilla Extract
  • 1/2 cup Honey
  • 3 tbsp. Chocolate Syrup

Directions

  1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Heavily coat a 9×13 baking dish with butter or a LOT of cooking spray.
  3. Melt butter in small saucepan.
  4. Unfold phyllo dough and cut in half to fit baking dish.
  5. Place one sheet of cut phyllo dough in the prepared baking dish and brush with melted butter.
  6. Repeat until the bottom layer is eight to ten sheets thick.
  7. Chop nuts into small pieces.
  8. Mix nuts with cinnamon and chocolate chips.
  9. Spread nut mixture evenly across phyllo dough layers.
  10. Cover with a single sheet of phyllo dough and brush with melted butter.
  11. Repeat until the top layer is eight to ten sheets thick.
  12. Using a sharp knife, cut into small squares or diamond-shaped pieces. (Remember, this is ridiculously sweet, so smaller pieces are better.)
  13. Bake in pre-heated oven for 45-50 minutes until very brown and crisp.
  14. While baklava is baking prepare sauce. Bring sugar and water to a boil in a saucepan over medium to medium high heat.
  15. Reduce heat, and add honey, vanilla, and chocolate syrup, and simmer while stirring for 20 minutes. Set aside.
  16. Remove baklava from oven and immediately pour sauce over the top, making sure to cover every piece.
  17. Allow to cool in baking dish.
  18. Serve in cupcake liners or on small squares of parchment paper. Do not wrap to store, or it will get soggy and end up more like a sad Poptart than baklava.
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Cinn-full Cinnamon Rolls

These cinnamon rolls will add some rolls to your waistline! And you don’t have to use one of those ghastly spring-form tubes of yucky, fake dough. These are great with nuts or neutered (i.e. no nuts… heh). 

THE DOUGH

Ingredients

  • 1 cup Whole Milk
  • 2 tbsp. Water
  • 3 tbsp. White Sugar
  • 3/4 tsp. Salt
  • 1 Large Egg
  • 1/4 cup Butter or Margarine, Softened
  • 3-1/3 cups Bread Flour
  • 2 tsp. Active Dry Yeast

Directions

    1. Add all ingredients to bread machine pan in order listed.
    2. Select Dough cycle and press Start.

 

THE FILLING

Ingredients

  • 2 Full Sticks of Butter or Margarine, very softened
  • 1 cup Brown Sugar
  • 1/2 cup White Sugar
  • As much Cinnamon as you can handle (At least 2 tbsp.)
  • 1 cup Finely Chopped Walnuts or Pecans (Optional)
  1. Mix butter or margarine, brown sugar,white sugar, and cinnamon together into a thick, goopy* paste.
  2. Don’t mix in the nuts; those come later.

 

THE FROSTING

Ingredients

  • 2 cups Powdered Sugar
  • 1/4 tsp. Vanilla
  • 1-1/2 – 3 tbsp. Whole Milk
  1. Mix all ingredients together into a thick, runny* paste.
  2. If frosting is too thick, add a bit more milk; if too thin, add a bit more powdered sugar.

*What’s the difference between “goopy” and “runny” you might ask? If you put a “goopy” paste in a bowl, it will hold it’s shape, whereas a “runny” paste will lie flat. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

 

THE ROLLS

  1. Spray two or three (depending on size) baking pans or cake pans with a LOT of cooking spray. This recipe makes about 14-16 rolls.
  2. When dough cycle has completed, turn out dough onto a floured surface.
  3. Use a rolling pin to roll out the dough out into a large rectangle, about 1/2 inch thick.
  4. Smear entire surface with filling, as evenly as possible.
  5. Sprinkle nuts evenly over the filling. (Optional)
  6. Gently roll up the dough rectangle lengthwise, avoiding squeezing or pressing.
  7. With a long, sharp knife, cut the rolled dough into 1 to 1-1/2 inch sections of equal size.
  8. Arrange sections in baking pans, leaving at least 1 inch between each roll.
  9. Rise in an unheated oven for about 30 minutes until doubled in size.
  10. With pans still in the oven, turn oven on to 350 degrees, and bake for 22-25 minutes until golden brown.
  11. Remove from oven and allow to cool for only about five minutes.
  12. Use a piping bag with a large, round tip to swirl icing all over the hot cinnamon rolls. The frosting will melt and run into every crack and crevice.

 

Sneaky Trick: If you’re having trouble getting your filling to spread, use a large, wet pastry brush (or a new, wet paint brush). The filling won’t stick to it as much as it will to a spoon or spatula, especially when it’s wet, and a tiny bit of extra moisture won’t hurt your dough and filling at all.

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REAL Blueberry Muffins

These aren’t cupcakes masquerading as muffins like you might get at the coffee drive-thru.  These are stick-to-your-ribs, real mother-f*cking muffins! The batter stands up strong to hold a LOT of delicious blueberries, and it works great with raspberries or blackberries, too. These muffins are lovely served with a little smear of butter or margarine.

Ingredients

  • 2 cups Frozen Blueberries (or even more if you’re feeling brave!)
  • 1 cup Milk
  • 1/4 cup Vegetable Oil
  • 1 tsp. Vanilla Extract
  • 1 Large Egg
  • 2 cups All-Purpose Flour
  • 1/3 cup plus 2 tbsp. White Sugar
  • 1 tbsp.  Baking Powder
  • 1/2 tsp. Salt

Directions

  1. Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Line a cupcake tin with paper cupcake liners. (This should make about 16 in a standard-sized cupcake tin.)
  3. Put frozen blueberries in a colander and run warm water over them for about thirty seconds, just enough to soften them a bit.  Shake the colander to keep them from sticking together and set aside, allowing to drain.
  4. Combine milk, vegetable oil, vanilla extract, and egg in a large bowl and combine well.
  5. Mix together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a separate bowl.
  6. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and mix very gently until just combined. (Do NOT use a stand mixer or electric hand mixer for this step.) Your batter should be very lumpy.
  7. Shake blueberries one more time to make sure they’re not sticking together and add to batter.  Mix until JUST distributed throughout batter, but no more. The secret to a great textured muffin is a light hand while mixing!
  8. Spoon batter into prepared cupcake tin until each is about 2/3 full.
  9. Wipe any drips from around the edges of the tin with a damp paper towel. (You will thank me when it’s time to wash the tin!)
  10. Bake in pre-heated oven for 20-22 minutes until they begin to brown on the top. (If you’re using fresh berries, reduce the cooking time by about two minutes.)
  11. Remove from tin immediately and transfer to a cooling rack.
  12. Serve while still warm… or hot if you can’t wait!
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Cheesecake Cups

These cupcake style cheesecakes have all of the great flavor and texture of their larger cousins, but they’re easier to share! And the crust is so simple you’ll feel like you’re cheating. 

Ingredients

  • 16 ‘Nilla Wafers
  • 2 (8 oz.) Packages of Cream Cheese
  • 3/4 cup White Sugar
  • 1/4 cup plus 2 tbsp. Whole Milk
  • 2 Large Eggs
  • 1/2 cup Sour Cream
  • 1 1/2 tsp. Vanilla Extract
  • 2 tbsp. All-Purpose Flour

Directions

  1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Line a cupcake tin with paper cupcake liners. (This should make about 16 in a standard-sized cupcake tin.)
  3. Place one ‘Nilla Wafer in the bottom of each cupcake liner. (Easiest. Crust. Ever.)
  4. In a large bowl or stand mixer, blend cream cheese with sugar until smooth.
  5. Blend in milk and then eggs, one at a time, mixing until just combined.
  6. Add sour cream, vanilla, and flour, and beat until smooth.
  7. Spoon cream cheese mixture into prepared cupcake tins to about 2/3 full.
  8. Wipe any drips off the cupcake tin with a damp paper towel. (You’ll thank me.)
  9. Bake in pre-heated oven for 45-50 minutes, until tops just begin to brown.
  10. Allow cups to cool slowly over about 60 minutes by turning the oven off and cracking the door.
  11. Chill in the refrigerator.
  12. Garnish with fruity pie filling, crumbled cookies, or your favorite cheesecake topping.
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Razzleberry Tarts

These tarts are a hot mess of ooey-gooey goodness, and as an added bonus they are quite large. These are the absolute best when still warm out of the oven, but if any are left over (Ha ha ha… yeah, right!) they can be re-heated by covering in foil and warming them in a 350 degree oven for about 10 minutes. The crust is the tried-and-true recipe everyone knows and loves, and can be used for many different varieties of pies and tarts. Warning: Do NOT wear a white shirt while eating!

THE CRUST

Ingredients

  • 2 cups All-Purpose Flour
  • 1 tsp. Salt
  • 2/3 cup + 2 tbsp. Shortening
  • About 6 tbsp. ice cold water

Directions

    1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
    2. Place several ice cubes in a large drinking glass or Pyrex measuring cup and add cold water. Set aside.
    3. Mix flour and salt in a large bowl.
    4. Add shortening and combine with a pastry blender until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
    5. Slowly add ice cold water, thoroughly combining with flour mixture until the dough pulls away from the side of the bowl and is joined into one large, slightly moist lump.
    6. Turn approximately half the dough out onto a floured surface, flipping until the exterior is coated in dry flour.
    7. Press down with your hands into a very rough approximation of the shape you want.
    8. Use a floured rolling pin to roll dough until it is less than 1/4 inch thick. Thinner is better (1/8 inch is ideal!) but too thin and your crust may be inundated with juices from your filling and have a soggy bottom like a toilet-training toddler.
    9. Place a single-serving aluminum pie tin upside-down on the dough, and cut with a sharp paring knife approximately one inch wider than the lip of the pan.
    10. Line pan with the dough you have just cut. It should protrude above the lip of the pan.
    11. Repeat cutting dough and lining pans until four aluminum pans have been lined with dough.
    12. Turn out remaining dough onto a floured surface, flipping until the exterior is coated in dry flour.
    13. Press down with your hands into a very rough approximation of the shape you want.
    14. Use a floured rolling pin to roll dough until it is less than 1/4 inch thick.  Again, 1/8 inch is ideal.
    15. Use a clean ruler as a guide and cut dough into 1/2 inch wide strips with a pizza cutter.
    16. Set strips aside, and keep the ice water handy.

Sneaky Trick: Don’t have a pastry blender?  A fork held in each hand will also perform this task admirably. Just pull them across one another against the bottom of the bowl until you have that crumbly consistency you want.

THE PIE

Ingredients

  • 16 oz. Frozen Mixed Berries or Fresh Berries (Blackberries, Blueberries, Raspberries, and Strawberries are the traditional mix, but go crazy!)
  • 3/4 cup White Sugar
  • 1/4 cup Corn Starch
  • 4 tbsp. Margarine
  • 1 Egg White, Beaten

Directions

  1. Pour frozen mixed berries into a large bowl to defrost while you are preparing your crust. If they’re slow to thaw, pop them in the microwave on a defrost setting for a few minutes. They don’t need to be completely soft, just not hard as a rock. Your berries can also be fresh.
  2. Cut any extra-large mutant strawberries until they are about the same size as the blackberries and raspberries.
  3. Add sugar and corn starch to berries and combine.  Avoid crushing berries as much as possible while mixing.
  4. Spoon berry mixture into prepared pie crusts and dot each tart with 1 tbsp. margarine, cut into a few small pieces.
  5. Moisten ends of dough strips with ice water and use strips to create a lattice pattern on the top of each tart.
  6. Press the ends of the lattice strips into edges of bottom crust, dipping your fingers into the ice water to help them adhere if they’re stubborn.
  7. Crimp edges of bottom crust and lattice strips around the edges of the pans.
  8. Put tarts on a cookie sheet lined with aluminum foil. (If you skip this step, you will have to clean your oven and stand on a chair to turn off the smoke detector. Just sayin’.)
  9. Brush crust with beaten egg white.
  10. Bake in pre-heated oven for 40-45 minutes, until pastry has browned and filling is bubbly.
  11. Serve with vanilla ice cream or lightly sweetened whipped cream.

Sneaky trick: Don’t want to go to the trouble of making a lattice crust, but want it to look like you slaved over the proverbial hot stove for hours? Roll top crusts and trim to about 1/2 inch wider than the top rim of the pans. Use small cookie cutters to make shaped holes in the dough and set cut-outs aside. Attach top crust to the tart, and dab the dough cut-outs with a little ice water. Reattach the cut-outs over the holes you made in the crust, but slightly off center from where the holes are. This will vent your tarts and give you a snazzy look.

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Top Secret Brownies

This otherwise ordinary brownie recipe has a “secret ingredient” that gives these treats that shiny, crinkly top that everyone craves! You are sworn to secrecy!

Ingredients

  • 2 Squares Unsweetened Baking Chocolate
  • 1 Stick Margarine (Yes, Margarine…. NOT butter.)
  • 1 cup White Sugar
  • 2 Eggs
  • 3/4 cup All-Purpose Flour
  • 1 handful Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips (Shhhhh!)
  • 1/2 cup Chopped Walnuts (optional)

Directions

  1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Melt margarine and baking chocolate in a saucepan over medium low heat until just melted.
  3. Remove from heat and add white sugar and eggs. Stir until smooth.
  4. Add flour and stir until smooth again.
  5. While no one is looking (Remember, this is a secret!) add one handful of semi-sweet chocolate chips and stir until they have melted into the warm batter. (I know: A “handful” is awfully imprecise. No more than twenty chips will do the trick.)
  6. Pour into a 9×9 baking pan well-coated with cooking spray.
  7. Optional: Sprinkle chopped walnuts on top. (You Southerners can use those pecans y’all are crazy about if you prefer. Bless your hearts.)
  8. Bake for 30 minutes, and cool for about 30 more… if you can wait that long.
  9. Pour the milk and serve!

I have also made this recipe with duck eggs instead of chicken eggs and it turns out even more rich and decadent.  Next year, give the kids ducklings instead of chickens for Easter, and you’ll see what I mean!

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Carrot Cake Cupcakes

Box cake? What box cake!? This recipe may start with this cheat, but it’s much better than the recipe on the box. I recommend starting a fire in the fireplace before you start cooking so you can burn the box afterward.

Ingredients

  • One 15.25 oz. box “Carrot Cake” mix. (I like the one that has the little orange pieces of fake carrot in it, but any brand will do.)
  • Three Eggs, 1/2 cup Oil, and 1 cup Water (or whatever your brand of cake mix requires)
  • Three Large Carrots
  • 3/4 cup Golden Raisins
  • 1/2 cup Coarsely Chopped Walnuts (Or you Southerners can use Pecans instead, bless your hearts!)
  • Cream Cheese Frosting (I won’t judge you if you use ready-prepared frosting. I really won’t. But, I’ll be posting my recipe for this soon!)

Directions

  1. Pre-heat oven per directions on the box.
  2. Run carrots through a food processor until finely ground (or grate and chop them if you need an upper-arm workout.) Set aside.
  3. Chop walnuts. Set Aside.
  4. Prepare cake mix per the instructions on the box.
  5. Add carrot, golden raisins, and walnuts and mix thoroughly.
  6. Spoon into muffin/cupcake tin prepared with paper cupcake liners, filling each one about 2/3 full. (If you don’t have paper cupcake liners, I’m sure it will be fine with just a coating of cooking spray, but they really turn out better with liners…. Actually, go get some liners before you start your batter, OK?)
  7. Bake per directions on the box.
  8. Remove from oven and transfer to rack to cool.
  9. After thoroughly cooled, frost with cream cheese frosting.
  10. Decorate with Sprinkles, or if you’re feeling especially ambitious, you can mix some orange and green food coloring into a bit of your frosting and pipe those cute little frosting carrots on the top instead. (Show off!)
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